what it's all about

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Charlotte, NC, United States
I am on a journey -like you, I'm sure. A personal journey, a spiritual journey. A journey about passions, growth, and living. I don't have a good memory, but I value my experiences. It's very strange when you realize that you are being shaped constantly, but ultimately only remember some of the reasons why you are the person you're becoming. I find that when things resonate within me, writing about them helps me to better develop my opinions about them, and to remember them. Sometimes, it's the simple act of looking back and reminding myself where I've been that is all I need to move forward with confidence. That's why I write. Thank you for joining me.

Friday, April 8, 2011


I should have written about this sooner, but I didn't really know how. You know how sometimes you're not sure how much of your life you really want out there, especially when it involves other people. But, I don't think this post will hurt anybody. If anything, it will help. You guys have never been anything but supportive.

A week ago, we got some bad news. My husband's grandma was hospitalized the night before. It was a tough day, because we didn't really know what happened. Here's the gist of it- She wasn't feeling well for a few days but didn't want to go to the doctor. (She's stubborn and doesn't like to be poked. Can you blame her?) Finally, Thursday night, she called the aunt that lives down the road and had her take her to the hospital. While she was there, she flat lined and had to be resuscitated. When we got the call on Friday, she was in Urgent care, heavily sedated. We had so much going on Friday, and it was hard to make decisions. Chris' family lives about three hours away, and he needed to be there with them. I wasn't sure if I should go with him or stay. I didn't want to be in the way, but more so, I wanted to provide support for my new family, and especially for my husband. He and his grandma are very close. Chris family told us to do what we had to do, and come afterward; that she wouldn't be awake anyway. So that's what we did.

We spent the weekend in a waiting room. Long story short, Chris' grandmother made nothing short of a miraculous recovery. It turns out she had congestive heart failure and double pneumonia.On Friday, everybody feared the worst, but she stabilized and was moved to ICU. Saturday, she was awake, but not really "with it" or recognizing people. Sunday, she was able to recognize us all and tell us she loves us. With her seeming to be out of the woods, we came back home on Sunday night, promising to return this weekend.

On Monday, Chris family provided updates, and they have continued to do so every day. They are hard to receive, but sometimes I wonder if it would have been harder to experience. For example, On Monday, Chris' family was visiting her, and she asked why Chris hadn't come to see her... They told her that he had to go back to Charlotte but that he would be back, and realized she didn't remember anything about the day before. She didn't even know we had been there. She's had some minor recognition problems too. And yesterday they had to put in a small pace maker because her heart rate had dropped to 30 BPM. But she was fine after the surgery, and apparently talking up a storm. :)

On a side note, Chris' family keeps growing! lol. And I don't mean because of births. Last weekend I met extended family I've never met before. Some cousins drove down from school in other states. And Chris' grandma has 4 siblings that are still with us, and I enjoyed meeting them very much. They are wonderful people, even in a difficult situation. And it was a difficult situation. I've never had anyone close to me go through anything like that. The only time I've ever spent in hospitals was for minor surgeries or new babies. It was so hard to see Chris' grandma laying there with all kinds of tubes sticking out of her- especially when she was non responsive. But I swear, she looked better every time I went back to see her, and I hope it continues.

Chris is heading back down this afternoon. I have some things to take care of here, so I will be here by myself. I like my alone time, and am not afraid to be without him this weekend, but I have been having bouts of sadness lately, so hopefully I can keep those at bay.

So, I ask that you keep our family in your prayers. We've seen what the power of prayer can do, and I selfishly hope that we can keep her around a bit longer. Yes, she has had health problems that will continue to be bothersome. And yes, she's a believer who says she's ready to "go home." But she is kind of the glue that holds their family together... Also, Chris' sister is getting married in June, and if we could have her with us for that... (sigh.) That's really all I'm asking for. I know it seems audacious that I should specifically ask the Lord for something like that, but if we don't ask, then what? Besides a recovery, of course, I am praying for strength and comfort for the family. I pray for my husband's safety while he's driving down and back, and I pray for my own comfort in solitude, and that I can be productive during this weekend on my own.

Will you pray with me?


  1. Thank you for your love and prayers! My Grandma is doing much better though not well yet. The recover time may take a little while. She asked about you and sends her love. Dont miss me too much, I'll be home soon! :)

  2. whoa. Hey everybody! That's my hubby! hehe

    You read my blog..... That makes me happy!

    You're grandma is better and you'll be home soon? happier.